Look down at your feet and dwell on those beautiful red slippers and then tap their heels together three times and say “There is no place like home.” When you wake up you will then realize that truer words were never spoken for indeed there is no better place than home and home is where you start from.

My reason for reflecting on this famous line from the Wizard of Oz is to demonstrate that like Dorothy most of us are caught up in all of the trials and tribulations of our situation so much so that we seem to lose ourselves. Dorothy as earnest and well intended as she was spent all of her time chasing the wind but you could never have told her that. So too in our lives you think that what you are doing is the best thing to do when at the end you find out differently all because you did not know all of the facts.

The greatest mistake that most people make in there lives is not knowing the facts, work from assumptions, and worst of all follow the crowd! This was clearly the case with Dorothy, she assumed that what she was told was true without getting or even asking for the facts so her ideas of getting back to Kansas were not well grounded, thus she was led astray to suffer the trials of the gauntlet that was laid before her.

Really the only way Dorothy could ever get herself home was by trusting in herself and not others. The lesson that we need to learn from this is that our greatest strength lies in ourselves and we should not rely on others because in the end they will let you down. If more of us would just tap our heels together we would find life a lot better.

Stephen F. Condren – Artist

New customers oftentimes make inquiries on how they can properly put in a JVC head unit that they just got a hold of online. Many of them are usually excited about installing them and giving them off to close friends and sweetheart. Adding a JVC car stereo is quite easy and it is quite straightforward. Most JVC merchandise is especially user friendly and affixing them may not be very difficult to try and do. Their products are very well customized to most car audio and video music systems and most of the time they can be effortlessly changed to completely new equipments in addition to the even older ones.

Prior to beginning fitting the JVC car stereo, be sure that you unhook the battery firstly and be sure that every one of your trusty tools are ready. You have to unscrew the earlier head unit that is based in the dash from the chrome effect housing. The motor car stereo will simply glide out once you have unscrewed it from the metallic housing. Before you go and pull it out, remember to gradually unplug the earlier component part from its wirings on the backside.

Try as much as possible to remember which cable went back into which plug and try to never lose a few of them. You may get confused down the line should you be able to connect them appropriately but displaced a wire or two. Take care not to forfeit the screws as well; you wouldn’t want your own unit to continue on smashing on the frame. You will want to secure your JVC in car audio system on the metal housing soon after.

Once you have removed out your out-of-date head unit, reattach your new JVC in car audio at the backside along with your wirings. Make sure you check if the new product you purchased has adapters within the box. As soon as your new unit is fitted, partly place the console within the dash and start the power supply and test out your newly purchased model whether or not it works effectively and if it is not, adjust as required. Having read the user handbook has to be a very great comfort at this stage given that it will help you a whole lot.

When your JCV Head unit is operating accurately and the audio are up to your standards, you may then go on to setting it into the dash properly. Screw the product properly and make sure that the unit is placed properly into the dash. You might at this point utilize security anchoring screws, these will help you secure it and prevent its theft. The moment it is fixed, you will want to turn the total model on and adjust the stereo until you have attained the best end results.

Have you been wondering how to get your girlfriend to love you again after you’ve cheated on her?

If so, you’ve probably already tried everything you can think of.

You apologized until you were blue in the face. You promised it would never happen again. You crawled on your hands and knees begging for her forgiveness. You told her it didn’t mean anything. But that didn’t work either.

So how do you show her how sorry you are?

You long to have her back something awful and would do anything if you could rewrite what you did. You have to be really careful when it comes to taking a shot at winning your girlfriend back under any circumstances and that goes double if you cheated.

Appearing desperate will only help to pump up the many incentives she has for not welcoming you back into her heart right now. One excellent strategy for reconnecting with your girlfriend is to write her a letter.

Tell her that you comply with her conclusion to take some time apart.

Tell her that she is totally right and that the two of you absolutely should part company and go your own separate ways.

Following that, you will want to compose a short apology. Convey to her how very deeply you regret cheating on her. Acknowledge that it demonstrated a colossal lack of respect for her and tell her how truly sorry you are for having done it, once again.

And in concluding, disclose that something really terrific has transpired in your life and you would like to talk to her about it whenever she is free. Sign off in a friendly but neutral manner and your heartfelt letter is done.

The odds are pretty good that when your girlfriend peruses through the letter, she will contact you in a little while and you won’t be in that same predicament of having to beg for her time and forgiveness anymore. You see, you’re demonstrating to her in a very classy manner, that you acknowledge what you have done and that you grasp how much anguish it put her through.

All the while, you are also letting her know that you’re not altogether demoralized and moping around in disgrace and self-hate. You’re more than ready to get on with your life. You may not have caught on to it, but sending a letter that has all that stuff in it is an awfully potent way to get your gal’s passion flowing again.

Then what?

Give it some time and remain self-assured when she does contact you.

While you’re waiting for her to contact you, be sure to take care of yourself. Hang out with some friends and keep yourself active. Focus on being positive and optimistic.

You’re going to want to be in the right frame of mind when your girl gets in touch with you. Don’t just sit around by the phone and brood when you haven’t heard anything yet.

This is merely the first step in capturing your gal’s heart back and you will undoubtedly need to be prepared when she get a hold of you after getting an eye full of your letter.

By stepping backwards in time one can discover an important part of art history associated with reverse painting on glass. It was an era that heralded the use of this art form ‘en masse’ during which people in communities could directly express in their own original way what they lived, perceived and felt in their own daily lives. Even to this day many artists who work on glass have been inspired through their links with furniture-making, glass production, the building trade, the teaching profession, or with farming and agriculture.

This painting technique often alludes to reality, seeking it as an accessory rather than as a necessity. Instead it tends to give importance to its symbolic quality.

As well it is an art technique that pertains to the surface rather than one which creates space or depth. In turn (due to an absence of volume) it also creates an absence of light and shade.

Reverse painting is often profusely decorative, possibly an expression of the artist’s need to be attentive to ornamentation and detail.

There is quite often a tendency to use direct complimentary colour combinations e.g. orange with blue, or red with green.

Nature is often very present in this unusual painting technique, especially in artworks created by those living in rural farming communities. The simplistic representation of the human form also evolves in such paintings and along with the absence of volume light or shadow creates a totally original aspect to this work by accentuating the difference between realism and naive art in a rather appealing way.

It would not be apt to regard reverse painting on glass as a very simplified form of art expression. Not only does this painting technique require patience and a number of technical skills, it also represents an art form that details and interprets an artist’s own personal experiences.

If about 50 percent of women in midlife experience a plunge in libido (which is what studies show), that leaves another 50 percent who don’t. Like Ann. “My libido has always been on the high side,” acknowledges Ann, a 50-year-old documentary maker and artist. Not only does she have a healthy sexual appetite, but also what she calls a “turned-on response” to life in general.

Ann is an ardent nature lover, and takes every opportunity to hike, bike, swim, sail, and be out in the elements. “I hoot and holler a little bit more than people who aren’t quite as passionate,” she says. She also channels her energy into her work, creating award-winning documentaries as well as drawing, painting, and making collages.

Unfortunately, says Ann, “Even with a strong libido, my sex life is not without peril.” She explains that her husband of 18 years has always had much less interest in sex than she has, reversing the roles of many couples. “In general, I’m the badgerer,” she says.

Ann works hard at not taking her husband’s lack of interest personally, and takes care to avoid the trap of negative self-speak (“I’m oversexed, a nymphomaniac”). She also uses playfulness and a sense of humor to ask her husband for more responsiveness. “One of the things that’s good for me is making sure that my spouse knows that sex is a part of what makes me happy,” she says.

Ann respects her husband’s lack of desire, though, and has found other avenues of sexual satisfaction. “For me, self-pleasure is a necessity. I learned that there are resources that can help keep your fantasy life going–Kundalini yoga, the Kama Sutra,” says Ann. “This has taken a lot of pressure off my husband.”

Another facet of Ann’s situation is that she’s now taking an antidepressant, and is experiencing a common side effect: “It’s knocked my libido out,” she says. Ann and her doctor are searching for an antidepressant (or a combination of the drugs) that works for her without affecting her sex drive, but they haven’t found it yet.

In the meantime, although Ann feels frustration, “The good news is that my husband and I are now on a more harmonious playing field,” she says. “The friction that was there from the disparity in our desires is gone, and so there is a certain pleasure–one that’s distinctly different from sexual pleasure–in this absence of tension about intimacy.”

Ann calls it a nice equalization. “I just don’t want it to go unappreciated,” she says. “It’s complicated, our sexuality.”

“You will probably not know your soulmate right away” ~Deb Melton

Many people believe in love at first sight. Now, I’m not saying that never happens, however I do believe that it is rare. Most relationships take time to develop. It is impossible to know someone well enough within a few hours or a few dates or even a few weeks, to decide if they are really the one for you.

When I was in college we use to have a saying, “Nothing good happens fast.” What was meant by this was that, if you went out with someone and there was immediate and intense fireworks, you know the kind, like rockets going off! There was a better than average chance that it would explode and be over with quickly. It’s like a sparkler. You light it. It is bright, pretty and exciting while it lasts, but the intensity is over before you know it. When you rely too much on chemistry to determine who you want to go out with and who you don’t, you are setting yourself up to miss an opportunity that may turn out to be the most fulfilling relationship of your life.

The basis of a lasting, satisfying relationship is a solid friendship, common values and a sense of purpose and direction that is aligned with each other. This takes time to discover. So when you meet someone don’t go solely by the fireworks. Instead follow the gentle tug on your heart that lets you know that this could be someone you could feel comfortable with for life. Then let the friendship develop without expectations of something more. As that foundation is strengthened, the fireworks you seek won’t be far behind. And this time it will last a lot longer than a sparkler!

Jealousy has often been called the “green-eyed monster,” and with good reason. The “monster” is fueled by envy and can over time devour the trust and harmony in a relationship.

Jealousy has been a reason for numerous couples marriage counseling sessions.

According to B.C. Forbes, “Jealousy…is a mental cancer.” It spreads quickly and can be fatal to a marriage. Once it gets a foothold, the jealous spouse becomes even more jealous, often over insignificant things. Comedian Rodney Dangerfield captures what happens in these remarks: “My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.”

You’re more prone to jealousy and envy when you are feeling insecure and fearful. Several years into my first marriage, I remember feeling unusually jealous of a woman that my husband worked with. The co-worker had dark, sultry looks, long flowing hair, and a figure that drove males wild. As if that wasn’t enough, she was also funny and outgoing, with great communication and social skills. At office parties, the husbands could be found circled around her, competing for her attention.

At the time, I was too embarrassed to tell my husband that I had been ambushed by such intense envy. Eventually, the co-worker moved on to another company, but I still vividly remember how much I wanted to be like her and how depressed I felt each time I compared my attributes to hers.

“To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is, a dissatisfaction with self,” states Joan Didion. Jealousy brings out the worst in us and causes us to resent someone else for having what we think we don’t have–looks, charm, money, prestige, romance, charisma, success. When we’re jealous, whatever measuring stick we use makes us feel lacking and “less than.”

Fear is also involved when we feel jealous–fear that we’ll never have what the other person has, fear that we’re not as good as someone else, fear of losing our spouse to another, fear that we’re not attractive or desired, and fear of being ridiculed. Joseph Addison defines jealousy as “…that pain which a man feels from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved by the person whom he entirely loves.” When we’re jealous, we feel insecure and lack self-esteem.

A counseling client once shared that he was being torn apart by jealousy. Whenever his wife was even a few minutes late, he visualized her stopping to flirt with someone in the grocery store or became convinced that she was using the time to secretly call another man. His rational mind knew that there was nothing to base these anxieties on, that his wife loved him and had never betrayed his trust. But he was unable to stop his “worst scenario” fantasies.

As we dug deeper into his past experiences, it turned out that his first long-term girlfriend in college had secretly cheated on him with a close friend of his. Thus, he was transferring his fears from the previous experience onto his wife. He became extremely jealous and afraid that he was going to lose her in the same way. Ironically, the marriage had become so unbearable for his wife that she did eventually turn her affections toward someone else. The client’s inability to control his jealousy brought about the very thing he was afraid would happen.

By the time he finally came for counseling, his obsessive jealousy had already killed the marriage.

For a marriage to be healthy, there has to be trust, and jealousy undermines that trust. The following seven tips can help you to keep jealousy from undermining your relationship with your spouse:

1. When you first notice that you’re feeling jealous, immediately try to identify what insecurity or fear is being triggered. Is it a fear of abandonment? A fear that you don’t measure up? Your own insecurities about not feeling successful or attractive enough? When insecurities or fears are activated, you’re more likely to overreact in a way that could hurt your relationship.

2. Instead of focusing on the behavior that you want your spouse to stop so that you won’t feel the uncomfortable pangs of jealousy, examine your self-talk. Are you telling yourself, “My wife shouldn’t be flirting with him like that,” or “My husband will probably leave me for someone else one day”? You can change how you feel by changing what you tell yourself about the

situation.

3. Take a close look at your past history. Did one of your parents cheat on the other one? Did a spouse in your first marriage betray you? Or did you cheat on a partner in the past? If so, it is likely that you are projecting your past experiences and feelings on to your present spouse. Try to keep the past separate from the present.

4. Do a reality check. Instead of getting upset about the future scenario your mind has jumped to, list what exact behaviors you’re upset about. Your list might read, “My wife talked to a handsome bachelor that she had just met when we were at our friend’s party. She smiled and laughed and looked like she was having a good time.” So the objective list of behaviors includes talking, smiling, laughing, and looking like she was having a good time–not exactly unusual party behavior.

5. Stay rooted in the present moment, and reel in your imagination before it runs away with you. You don’t want to damage your relationship by accusing your spouse of something he or she didn’t do. Besides harming the trust and harmony of your marriage, if you routinely accuse your spouse of imaginary transgressions, you could end up pushing him or her into the very behavior you’re zeroing in on.

6. Think before you speak. Notice the difference in the two following approaches: A) “I felt neglected last night at the party when you never spent any time with me. In fact, if I’m really honest, I was starting to feel slightly jealous, and I don’t like that feeling. I really need to talk about this with you.” or B) “I am so sick of you always flirting with every man in sight when we go to a party. People are going to think you’re nothing but a tramp.” Think about which approach will be most likely to result in a meaningful discussion.

7. Remind yourself that your spouse chose you, so he or she finds you and your qualities attractive. Also remember that confidence and self-respect is attractive to others. When you throw a jealous fit, you appear insecure and needy, as if you need constant reassurance of your spouse’s commitment. Repeat to yourself, “My wife (or husband) loves me and chose me to spend her life with. I’m lucky to have such a personable, attractive spouse who loves me.”

With the advent of the computer age and the Internet, you do not have to leave the comforts of your house in order to date a person. This is an era that has brought out the true meaning of long distance relationships. With the Internet wiring the whole world and extending our backyards to include the whole planet, long distance relationship has seen a re-birth. The Internet transcends borders and it is now possible to be in a relationship with a person from any crook and cranny of this planet. Dating sites and chat rooms have enabled many people to reach out for each other across continents and start meaningful relationships. Though a person ought to tread carefully and seek for relationship advice when looking for a partner online.

These web sites will promise you many things including marriage in six months. However, always be cautious. Not every one is bad, but you will meet all sorts of people here. Some are out to prey on innocent and desperate souls. The best relationship advice is to always be on the look out for them before committing yourself to long distance relationship. Internet has so far the highest number of long distance relationships. Many people hardly leave their houses but they are engaged in at least one long distance relationship. It is a relationship with a person you have never met but you feel you have common interests. You have a lot of similarities which helps to find that connection between you. You can add more value to this relationship by using a web cam or video chats where you can actually see your partner.

A mutual agreement should be arrived at with your online partner on time allocation. This is important to keep the lines of communication open, it is a top relationship advice if you want to be successful. Expressing how you feel about your long distance relationship keeps your partner interested. Honesty and openness are the catch words for the success of all long distance relationships. If you expect honesty from people, you have to be honest yourself. Being open does not imply giving too much personal information but at least expressing the abundance of your heart. Keep in mind that a long haul relationship needs constant fueling to keep it moving. You will agree with me that it is only communication that will save it from capsizing.

A long distance relationship on the Internet needs careful scrutiny before you flag it off. As part of the relationship advice, give it time. Time will always separate the wheat from the chaff. Before even a physical meeting can be arranged and agreed upon, let it weather the effects of time. Let it stand the test of time. Go through the profiles carefully by critically scrutinizing them. Long distance relationships usually survive due to the compatibility of the two people involved. Rhyming of partners makes everything to be so easy. If you can find a common ground in ideologies, ambitions, dreams, beliefs and goals, then you are on the safe side.

This may be the most important social intelligence question anyone can ask himself or herself. Friendship requires paying attention to the other person’s interests, needs, and communication style. It often begins based on things you have in common such as a love of sports, dislike of the color magenta, or shared beliefs about religion, politics, or second hand smoke.

Friendship is sustained however by your ability to accept and value a friend’s differences. Their collection of beer bottles, dislike of all spicy foods, or humming top forty hits while hiking may all drive you nuts but your friend is still your friend.

Finding what you have in common with another person at work is made easier if you stop focusing on liking the person and instead find some value in their ideas, work style, or organizational savvy. Learning to focus on what you have in common to get the work assignment completed can help you also appreciate their differences and leverage their strengths to get the job done.

How do you override an immediate feeling of dislike? Identify how you feel around the person and label their behavior – boring, pushy, selfish, know-it-all, etc. Then identify someone else about whom you have had similar feelings. The earlier the connection the better – schoolmates and family members are often good reference points. Why bother with this step? It helps you know when “dislike” is a familiar role you slip into without thinking about what is appropriate in the current situation – a hyperlink to the past that confuses your thinking.

Since these connections are made early in life you probably didn’t have a very sophisticated way of dealing with people you disliked. Forms of aggression or avoidance were the most common reactions – fight or flight. We all have a preferred familiar role we go to when these connections are triggered. What is yours?

Here are some strategies for dealing with both fight and flight reactions:

- Label the behavior that is making you frustrated, angry, or dismissive.

- Address the behavior. It is the behavior not the person that is the problem.

- Take a break (bathroom, quick walk, glass of water, reschedule, etc.) so that you have time to think about what the current situation requires and not just react.

-Keep your focus on what task needs to be accomplished then find a way to build an ally and not make an enemy.

Are you a good friend? If you can answer yes, then you can transfer those qualities to building alliances at work. Use your social intelligence strengths on demand and learn to transfer what works in one situation to another. That flexibility will make you someone people want on their team and as their friend.

article from: Pat Ward Consulting, LLC

Friendship is a gift of God. Some of us are blessed with good friends. But as it happens, these friendships are taken for granted in some cases and not valued. It is similar to a case of two couples. Say one has no child even after many years of marriage and the other has many children, more than they can manage. What do you think? Will the couple with many children value the children as much as the couple which has none? Everything is relative in life. We value what we don’t have and give less valuable to what is freely available with us. Friendship is one such relationship.Why should we value friendships? What qualities does a good friend bring in our relationship that makes the friendship so valuable? Let us examine some of these.

Judgment – a good friend is rarely judgmental. We can be open in our behavior with our good friends because we know that they will not judge us. We can enjoy this freedom only with friends. It is nothing short of a blessing, because with other people our actions and behavior are always calculated and guarded and that takes away lot of pleasure from our life.

Share Sorrow and losses – A friend can be depended upon to share all our problems and sorrows. This sharing may not reduce the impact of loss but helps us to unburden ourselves. This is no small gift of friendship. Once I saw the image of a man left alone in the village after an earthquake. The whole village got killed except this man. With who, will this man share his sorrow? A friend gives us this gift.

Hope – During our times of trouble, only a friend comes forward and gives us encouragement and hope. With that inspiration one begins afresh. At times in life when we feel totally devastated and hopeless, and when our self-esteem reaches a big low, a friend helps us regain confidence in ourselves.